A Chair that I Fear
I had always wished of sitting on a round comfortable chair
which would give me a joy of riding in a merry go round. And one day my father
fulfilled that wish when I was ogling outside the window inhaling the sweet
breeze of air mixed with the charm of the dusk.
“Take it boss, enjoy it!” A blue rotating chair swiftly
rolled towards me while my father was standing close to the door smiling. It
was a soft cushioned chair with five base assembly and the frictional casters
and it had got black arm cap with adjustable seat where one can rest his body
and spin or whirl in a desired way. As I placed my beetle body on it I felt
excited and pleased that I tied my strong relationship with a chair. It became
my choir to sit on the chair and leaf through my books steering it on every
corner of the room. Sometimes when nobody was around I used to whirl it until I
would feel giddy. I know it was a puerile act but the privilege one can enjoy
inside the broad space of one’s one room while spinning and being safeguarded
from other’s perception is really hard to attain in our usual time. A person
can act or pretend to be anyone or anything in the outside world but inside he
always wants to be himself.
Sometimes when my parents would fall asleep, I used to lift
that chair tiptoeing upstairs on the terrace to watch the myriad stars shining
right over my eyes leaning my body against the flexible back spring of chair. A
personal delight and a fear of getting caught at night, gazing at the moon light
and slowly falling stars over my sight always used to carry my heart for the
miraculous flight but truly my life wasn’t steered like my chair so I always
have a fear that someday I would fall like a floating kite.
I often had a hold of my chair that somebody’s weight on it
in front of my eyes used to burn my heart into jealousy. I used to feel like
the only possession that I had in this world is my chair and I wished nobody
would be the heir of my chair. Sometimes my chair used to visit my dream where
it used to talk like a real person wishing I would always get attached with it.
If my chair would have a real human heart I don’t know what kind of emotions it
would hold. May be it would feel my care, my desire and my needs for it.
But the things aren’t always the same. Time changes. Things
turn upside down. Same happened with me. The day where the devastating
earthquake rattled the whole country and took thousands of lives rendering
millions of people homeless, I was sitting on my chair reading newspaper. My
parents were outside and I was in home with my chair and as I felt the strong
jolt I had to push my chair and run. I just couldn’t notice that I had pushed
it so vehemently that it overturned lying prostate on the floor. After I came
back when the shock became less intense I lifted it back and saw the sharp
bruises over its top. I felt like I had become very rude with the things that
always provided me relieving company and comfort. I don’t know how this lifeless
being turned into the emotional being that I got the feelings for it as for the
people who had lost their loved ones. I know the life of the people can’t be
bought back but the chair can be bought again. Poignant emotions diluted in my
heart. Mind split. And I felt so guilty for being stupid having feelings for
chair which don’t hold any importance for those people who were hugely affected
by the quake. After that day I felt like if I have to help people I have to
leave and forget my comfort for the well being of others. As I could imagine,
those big people of our country who have tethered their pride and prestige on
the chair, might have felt the jolt of awakening for their responsibilities
towards the country at this crucial moment.
We spent most of our days in makeshift tent and sometimes
when I used to enter in my room to fetch my belongings I felt like it is
watching me with feeling of disdain and detestation. Once I tried to sit back on
it but it gave me a fear of another possible quake .Even at normal times, when
I still try to sit on it, my body gets shriveled with fear. I was attached with
my chair so deeply that it had a psychological impact on my mind. It has got spring shock and as I keep my body
on it I feel like I am floating on a ship in the middle of the ocean waiting
for the big wave to capsize it. I heard that higher authorities of our country
has got more comfortable chair in their offices. Do they still feel for their
chair or the country?
Recently I also heard that major political parties are
scurrying to form a National coalition Government. Amid this deadly scenario of
disaster are they trying to seize the opportunity of being accredited for their
work or merely trying to quench their intense thirst for switching power on
their hand which had dehydrated them for long.
Now I don’t feel like
my chair is devoid of my affection because the moment I think of those people who
have lost their loved one ,I try to foam my emotion comforting my soul and try to persuade myself that time will change.
There will not only be houses but there will be memories retrofitted with love.
There will be smiling faces and contended heart slowly marching towards
prosperity.
