What i am searching in women?
I am searching a part of my mother in her
I am searching part of my sister in her
I am searching part of my best friend in her
I am searching part of my feminine in her
I am searching my missing part in her
I always wonder what a man seeks in women
I seek neither hunger nor thirst in her body
Nor i seek for her conquered soul
Someway i am attached to her
But i don't wish she would be confined in her Gender role
My poems
My Anecdote and stories
All those glittering words
May decorate her body
But how can she cover the nakedness of her soul
with my interlocked words soaked in the ocean's
of this judgmental world?
She is often compared with Art
But how long she would be happy being their part?
Shows are for sometime
When the light fades
and Curtains are closed
They are alone with their shadows
And Tragic make-up magic
Imposed upon their body
Heavy and saggy
Masked beauty
A words of Praise only bestow for sometimes
As the oil of selfish world gets emptied
in the lamp
In no longer illuminates the path of the sacred soul
And the women
Has to travel alone in the darkness
When her pollen is snatched
Eggs are hatched
Then her heart is scratched
convincingly patched
In women i seek nothing
sometime she seems like a void
And sometimes a vast universe
Suspended in the mind of every man
Her body may be the shape of constellations or clouds
Where we see our own Imagination
Women are facts
Nor fiction
Nor fantasy
I don't know what they simply feel about themselves
May be women are not their
Own written history
Her own written history
- Frain Chakrit
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Saturday, June 13, 2015
A Chair that I Fear
A Chair that I Fear
I had always wished of sitting on a round comfortable chair
which would give me a joy of riding in a merry go round. And one day my father
fulfilled that wish when I was ogling outside the window inhaling the sweet
breeze of air mixed with the charm of the dusk.
“Take it boss, enjoy it!” A blue rotating chair swiftly
rolled towards me while my father was standing close to the door smiling. It
was a soft cushioned chair with five base assembly and the frictional casters
and it had got black arm cap with adjustable seat where one can rest his body
and spin or whirl in a desired way. As I placed my beetle body on it I felt
excited and pleased that I tied my strong relationship with a chair. It became
my choir to sit on the chair and leaf through my books steering it on every
corner of the room. Sometimes when nobody was around I used to whirl it until I
would feel giddy. I know it was a puerile act but the privilege one can enjoy
inside the broad space of one’s one room while spinning and being safeguarded
from other’s perception is really hard to attain in our usual time. A person
can act or pretend to be anyone or anything in the outside world but inside he
always wants to be himself.
Sometimes when my parents would fall asleep, I used to lift
that chair tiptoeing upstairs on the terrace to watch the myriad stars shining
right over my eyes leaning my body against the flexible back spring of chair. A
personal delight and a fear of getting caught at night, gazing at the moon light
and slowly falling stars over my sight always used to carry my heart for the
miraculous flight but truly my life wasn’t steered like my chair so I always
have a fear that someday I would fall like a floating kite.
I often had a hold of my chair that somebody’s weight on it
in front of my eyes used to burn my heart into jealousy. I used to feel like
the only possession that I had in this world is my chair and I wished nobody
would be the heir of my chair. Sometimes my chair used to visit my dream where
it used to talk like a real person wishing I would always get attached with it.
If my chair would have a real human heart I don’t know what kind of emotions it
would hold. May be it would feel my care, my desire and my needs for it.
But the things aren’t always the same. Time changes. Things
turn upside down. Same happened with me. The day where the devastating
earthquake rattled the whole country and took thousands of lives rendering
millions of people homeless, I was sitting on my chair reading newspaper. My
parents were outside and I was in home with my chair and as I felt the strong
jolt I had to push my chair and run. I just couldn’t notice that I had pushed
it so vehemently that it overturned lying prostate on the floor. After I came
back when the shock became less intense I lifted it back and saw the sharp
bruises over its top. I felt like I had become very rude with the things that
always provided me relieving company and comfort. I don’t know how this lifeless
being turned into the emotional being that I got the feelings for it as for the
people who had lost their loved ones. I know the life of the people can’t be
bought back but the chair can be bought again. Poignant emotions diluted in my
heart. Mind split. And I felt so guilty for being stupid having feelings for
chair which don’t hold any importance for those people who were hugely affected
by the quake. After that day I felt like if I have to help people I have to
leave and forget my comfort for the well being of others. As I could imagine,
those big people of our country who have tethered their pride and prestige on
the chair, might have felt the jolt of awakening for their responsibilities
towards the country at this crucial moment.
We spent most of our days in makeshift tent and sometimes
when I used to enter in my room to fetch my belongings I felt like it is
watching me with feeling of disdain and detestation. Once I tried to sit back on
it but it gave me a fear of another possible quake .Even at normal times, when
I still try to sit on it, my body gets shriveled with fear. I was attached with
my chair so deeply that it had a psychological impact on my mind. It has got spring shock and as I keep my body
on it I feel like I am floating on a ship in the middle of the ocean waiting
for the big wave to capsize it. I heard that higher authorities of our country
has got more comfortable chair in their offices. Do they still feel for their
chair or the country?
Recently I also heard that major political parties are
scurrying to form a National coalition Government. Amid this deadly scenario of
disaster are they trying to seize the opportunity of being accredited for their
work or merely trying to quench their intense thirst for switching power on
their hand which had dehydrated them for long.
Now I don’t feel like
my chair is devoid of my affection because the moment I think of those people who
have lost their loved one ,I try to foam my emotion comforting my soul and try to persuade myself that time will change.
There will not only be houses but there will be memories retrofitted with love.
There will be smiling faces and contended heart slowly marching towards
prosperity.
Monday, April 6, 2015
Art Of Dying
At what point a person feel like dying? When a person feels much tensed and become completely hopeless or when a person feels so alone and the past memories randomly haunt him/her. Some people may be struggling with cancer or some kind of incurable diseases. Some people have a obsession of thinking. They ruminate over a small issue and end their life because of that. I don’t know how many people had ended their life in this lonely planet but as they did end their life, they had some purposes of doing so.
If you really want to die then let’s not choose a futile death. If you want to die then choose a brave kind of death. Choose a kind of death that will give you a spark of life at every moment you try to jump into it. Die with passion. With utmost compassion. Die for the whole humanity. Die for your country. Die for your passion but don’t die for someone who doesn't give a damn about you. Die for someone who really does care about you. Feel the breeze of death when you try to inhale the breath of life .If you are alone then that’s the biggest gift you have ever received from the divine. You can educate yourself through books. You can listen to your favorite music. Wake up early. See the dawn. Say goodbye to dusk. Be thankful to the sunlight. Love the rain. Go anywhere you like. A single beautiful soul can impart the rare treasure of love and kindness to the world around it. Smile and help people to smile.
Appreciate being alive in an awesome planet. If you are creative that is a great asset you will ever have. Compose poems, paint, and write your heart out. Sing. Dance. Don’t care about what people say or do. Listen to your heart. Make your own choices. Die an awesome accidental death. Like falling from the mountain while hiking. Doing different kind of adventurous sport. If you want to die don’t invite a death at your own cost. Show the death how far you can go with your life.
Talk to the people around you. At your workplace. At school. College. Wherever you are .Provide them a good listening ear. Everybody has something to say. Listen to them. Keep your mind open. Be curious .Seek for knowledge. Everybody has got something. Help someone with the knowledge you earn from someone. If something disappoints you then don’t think much about it. Forgive the one who have hurt you. Don’t be hopeless. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. keep a pet at your house. Talk with them. Play with them. They will ease your stress. You will feel relief.
If you don’t find anyone to share your problems. I am here for you all. I may not be good at counseling. But talking with someone if you feel good then I will be glad to provide you my listening ear and understanding heart.
Thank you for reading. Wish you for your wonderful time.
Thank you for reading. Wish you for your wonderful time.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
A Saloon Story
1
Small saloon in the
corner of hectic road. Peoples walking with big mustache, beard, long styled
hair, some curlies, some straight, some dread locked, some as straight as pine
leaves, porcupine thrones. Does hairstyle reflect person’s personality? What
about attitude? Mansoor may not have a proper answer for this kind of question
but he can nod and say something out of his deep experience. May be the person
who share their stories might have certain impact upon him while he move his
scissor and comb on their different styled hair. He may have been shaving his
pain like a razor blade over their face. Hair and beard grows time and again.
Same is the pain. May be his pain grows faster than the sluggish beard. His
youthful and meek face may not have the wrinkles of sadness but nobody knows
how many times he has massaged his own mind during those painful moments he had
endured. People come to have facial and always envy him about the money he
earns. They are mostly those people who are still having the grains strewed by
their parents. Unemployed and a true addict of cigarette and weeds. Their
dreams are like cigarette fumes. Decaying life. Unconscious in a trance state
aided by weeds. Mansoor knows his work but forgets his health because he has to
open his shop, pay the rent of shop and his room so he never has a time to eat
properly. He is single but he always find himself in midst of the crowd. Even when
he returns back to his room late at night he carries that crowd within himself.
So he is never a lonely guy. His old mother often calls him and pleads for
money. He has to send some money to his village. He don’t want to recall those
,starry nights of thunder and heavy downpour where he was compelled to sleep
with hunger glancing at the leaked roofs of his small hut. Hunger didn't scare
him that time. A howling and forcing wind scared him which could have anytime
blown his feeble roof.
“Hay Mansoor?” Why
don’t you change that music?” A commanding and little annoying voice shifted
his attention towards the Old cassette player which his father had bought long
before he died of cholera when mansoor was small.
An oily person of mid 30
was sitting on a tool and with half shaved beard his reflected images on the
mirror resembled that of a betrayed fool. Mirror wasn't clean. There were
patches of dirt stuck like an artistic dot. If one would glance at it deeply
they would find different images which was barely conceivable.
A melodious Hindi song
reverberated in the room. He seems to have been enjoying it. So he slowly
closed his eyes while mansoor began shaving rest of his beard.
Seldom people ask him to
change the music. Changing music is not a hard job for mansoor, he is not even
unwilling to do that, but the hard thing is to fulfill the desire of every
customer who enters in saloon with their own kind of desire to look good in
every possible way. He can feel their aesthetic needs. People are gifted with
their kind of beauty but they want to embrace the beauty of other.
“How much?”
His face looked like a
ragged jeans after shaving. He leisurely puts his hands in the back pocket,
took out 50 rs note and lifted on the air giving an unsure look.
“Yes its 50” Mansoor
replied just dredging a towel and putting it back on the chair.
Then a ragged face guy
took away his red sun-glass parked on the wooden desk. He didn't smile back.
Mansoor has glued
the colorful posters of Bollywood slinky and seducing actress on the patchy
walls of the saloon. It aids in stimulating sensual feelings of the customer.
It seems as those images calmly hold them for a quarter or an half on the
wooden high backed uncomfortable chair. Music works as an ingredient or some
kind of additives for fidgeted heart.
Those rough and tough
guys strolling around the saloon gives bad headache to mansoor. They have made
saloon their usual junction for talking mundane things that doesn't make much
sense for the ideal person. Their baleful glance and nasty outlook often
frighten him .Their very presence in the saloon is like a possible landslide,
huge volcanic havoc and terrorizing symptoms of possible earthquake for the
feeble heart like Mansoor’s. His hearts beats in a distressful pace, his hands
shakes and anger boils inside as they enter into the saloon and use his spray,
combs, towels and creams without any kind of formal request or permission. He
is aware of the fact that they can be dangerous to him anytime so he has
smothered his voice and curbed his courage.
2
Today the sun is
cloaking beside the cloud. Mansoor knows that it’s already morning..His mobile
is out of breath. Begging for battery life. There’s not so much gloomy outside
as compared to the gloominess of mansoor’s mind. He has a little sickness
escalating from the toes to his head making him look little bit blue and dull
on his bed. Yesterday he forgot his lunch, worked like a Himalayan yak or meek
donkeys. Ate his dinner at 10 and it was like chopping a big whale into tiny
pieces and then eating like a vulture who doesn't know anything about the
culture.
He wore his full sleeve
shirt. Orange like an orange. Checkered orange. White and orange. It’s like
replacing the black with orange in a chessboard. When mansoor reached at
his shop, he glanced at his watch. Needles are resting on the 9 and 12.Small
brother resting on 9 and big brother resting on 12.Big brother is desperately
waiting for the lean brother doing round ups.
He pushed his shutter.
It was hard to push. It needed some grease for sure. Mansoor may have
acknowledged it but he always forgets. He usually gets lost in his
routine. There were no vehicles today. He didn't see much people walking on the
street. He watched around. Shops were closed. Some half open. Cat or dogs could
easily pass through them. But he saw people over there making transactions .He
couldn't understand things going around him. Is it a strike today? Some kind of
bandha’s? who did it anyway? For what? Will they compensate him for that? He
has to pay 400 per day as a rent to the house owner. Do house owner excuses him
for this particular day? No he won’t. Mansoor didn't want to go back to his
room closing his shop just because it’s a strike. He is earning his living by
hard work. He toils around all day long for his living, for his family. He
couldn't understand why such kind of strikes is snatching the bread of an
honest laborer? One group goes in the power, escalates and dwells in a big
tower. With binoculars they watch layman. They haven’t yet observed the real
pain of the people in a microscope. There are numerous sides of people and
there are numerous slides of pain, of suffering, of dreams, of desires, of wish
which needed to be placed in the microscope of the state and observed
thoroughly.
Mansoor didn't get
chance to ruminate much. He feels as his right to think has been infringed by
some strange noises. It soars high like a violent storm hitting the unbolted
door. He finds the section of brick smacked at his shop which comes with the
nerve-wrecking motions sliding at his feet. Angry crowds enter his shop with
the big wooden stick. Mirrors fall into pieces like his heart. Helpless
chair lies prostrate on the floor. Blood comes sprouting from his head. He
couldn't understand what those angry faces are yelling at him. He just finds
chunks of frustration dotted in their face like an indelible stain. He finds
his eardrum resonating a peculiar sound. Then the crowd leaves. He lies there
on the floor like a lifeless chair.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Lets Stop Violence Against Women
http://new.myrepublica.com/blog/item/17325-lets-stop-violence-against-women.html
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